Postpartum Depression: A Personal Look into Why the Stigma Hinders Recovery

Hearing the words, “I don’t think I can do this,” repeated over and over in a panicked tone from my sister created a sense of apprehension for everyone there in the delivery room. It was eight days past her due date and she needed to be induced. My mother, my grandma and I were all there at 7:30 am ready to support my sister, all ready to be there for her and hold her hand through the whole process of having her baby. This day had been nine months in the making, everyone in the room was so excited for baby Emma. And the excitement was slowly eroded away with those seven words. For nine months, my sister had been picture perfect, making everyone believe nothing was wrong. And for nine months we were mistaken.

My sister just recently had a baby. She is only 20-years-old. She suffered a very severe case of postpartum depression. My sister gave me a beautiful niece; her name is Emma. She is one of the most beautiful babies I have ever met. Some days, her mother does not want to touch her or be around her. I remember one day shortly after Emma’s birth asking my sister about how it felt to hold Emma for the first time, and Kendra said: “I just wanted her off me.” It broke my heart. It still breaks my heart.

WebMD states that 1 in 7 women in the United States suffers from PPD. For my sister, this is hard. She feels guilty, like a horrible mother, she feels abnormal, because most days, she feels little to no connection with my niece. I remember her saying “I just want to love her like I’m supposed to…” with tears in her eyes. My sister says that the hardest part about the postpartum depression experience is the judgment and lack of support from her family members. They say she isn’t a good mom, they ask how she could not love her baby, and they say things like to the baby needs your love, etc. This was so ridiculous to me. Right now, all my sister needs is support, she can’t control what she was feeling, and she already knows it’s “wrong”, and yet, all the people in her life who are supposed to be helping her heal, are only worsening her depression.

My sister is slowly but surely feeling better with her depression, and all with the help of taking a medication to help her, but she still states that it’s very difficult for her. She understands that she does love her baby but that bonding is difficult, and caring for her child when she’s having a hard time caring for herself is also hard. For me, watching my sister go through this was a huge lesson in regards to women's healthcare, because I watched my sister, and I continue to watch her go through the stigma. She was and still is afraid of talking about her postpartum depression.

Per an article from NPR, the stigma around postpartum depression is what hinders healing. People are too afraid to speak out about what they are feeling due to the judgment and lack of treatment surrounded with it. Doctors are uneducated on how to treat the illness, and insurance companies won’t pay for diagnoses of it, and due to this, doctors don’t like treating for it. I watched in dismay my sister be handed a prescription for Zoloft and be told that this was the way to help her postpartum depression when she should have been given a therapy referral or some form of group counseling. The stigma around postpartum depression creates barriers in treatment, which I could see through my sister’s situation.

Recovering from postpartum depression is a difficult process. It takes understanding from the sufferer’s family, friends, and their healthcare team. Currently, and specifically for my sister, the lack of understanding from those who surround her during her recovery created barriers for her. She is doing better, but her recovery is not without struggles. In the future, and for my sister's sake, I hope that through education, postpartum depression can be better treated.